How to Ask Your Friend Out for a Date (part 2)

You’ve decided to ask her him/her out… Now what? How should you do it? Well, the answer is pretty simple…. You just need to Be Clear.

"I'd, uh, kinda maybe like to take you out sometime."

My great friends Ron and Anna were having another one of their late-night conversation marathons when, in a moment of silence, Ron had nervously blurted out those words. Ron didn't realize that Anna had a crush on him for months. He was funny, cute, and easy to be with. The only problem on that situation was that his hesitant statement made Anna both elated and confused. He made Anna wonder what he really means. Does he mean he wants to take her out? Or simply stating that he'd like to – “sometime”? And what was that "maybe" part doing in there? Ron had a good reason to be hesitant. He really liked Anna, but wasn't certain of his feelings for her. He didn't want to lose or change what had been a great friendship. However, the situation only brought greater confusion and uncertainty for them because Ron was not firm and clear in his communication. It is therefore important to say exactly what you mean, and mean what you say when asking your friend out. You even want to rehearse the gist of what you want to say several times in advance. (I'm not saying to memorize a prepared statement. Simply have a mental outline.) You may say something like, "Anna, we've been friends for a while now. I really appreciate our friendship. I find you so sweet, smart, and attractive. I’d like to see our friendship become a dating relationship. Could I take you out for dinner on Saturday night?"

You should also Be Prepared.

Be prepared for your friend's reaction. Anticipate questions. Anticipate him or her asking you for time to consider. You may even want to offer it by saying something like, "I know this is a change/big step/something you may not have ever thought about. Feel free to take a few days to consider it." This will allow your friend to truly consider the effects dating may have on your relationship. It will prevent him/her from making a rash decision or sharing a gut reaction. It is also a courtesy to your friend to whom the thought of dating may have never even occurred.

Asking your friend out does posts some risks… Your relationship might get better or worse. So, how would you react in those situations? How would you react if your offer is accepted or rejected? These issues will be discussed on my next post… ;)

How to Ask Your Friend Out for a Date

It may sound weird, others may feel awkward, and for some the idea of dating your bestfriend may be a bit scary…. However, most of us would agree that good friends make great girlfriends and boyfriends. And most probably, the person you’re dating might be the person you’ll end up marrying. You've even seen the wedding invitations that read "Today I Marry my Best Friend." Dating someone who has been a friend decreases the awkwardness of getting to know one another. You already like and trust your friend and have a shared past, a context in which to create a new relationship. In dating a friend you aren't starting over but adding a new dimension to a relationship that you already value.

That said, trying to start a dating relationship with a friend can be like skating on thin ice. What if she considers you more like a brother than a lover? What if he/she just want you to remain friends? What the person refuses you? Is it all worth it?

The last is a question that only you can answer. If you decide that you are ready to swallow your fears and ask your friend for a date, then just stay tune for some helpful suggestion that might help you to get through with that…. I'll just post the "part two" of this post tomorrow... and I'm sleepy now... :)

Things You Should Ask to Your Online Date Before You Meet

When using online dating it is more difficult to get initial impressions of people because there's no face to face contact at first. The mannerisms and body language that tell so much about a person can't be seen. Hence, it is extremely important to know which questions to ask so that the person can get a better sense of who the other person is on the other side of the virtual screen. Here are some of the questions that one should ask to his or her online date in order to assess the personality and the attitude of the other person.

These questions are specifically inclined to provide the necessary information regarding an individual's personal conviction on certain matters and his or her own preferences on things. Those who are involved in online dating just have to keep in mind that when asking these questions, they should make it appear very natural so that they will not sound like they are being confrontational. In addition, those who will ask these questions should be sure that they are also prepared to answer the same.

1. What are you looking for in a guy/girl?
With this question, an individual can get hold of the qualities that the other person is looking for in a companion.

2. What do you think is the major error that people make when online dating for the first time?
This question will illustrate some idea about how the other person views the opposite sex. In this way, one could get an insight on the attitude of the other person and his or her personal beliefs on some important matters like dating and relationships.

3. What is your view on online dating services?
Through this question, a person will be able to know if the other person had some serious negative experience concerning online dating or the other way around. In addition, through the answers of the other person, one could guess if he or she is still willing to consider online dating or not.

4. What is a really successful relationship?
One could get a good view on how the other person values relationship. It would be better to hear the other person provide an answer regarding how the two persons who are involved in the relationship should work together as they grow and have a better sense of personality.

5. Did you fail on your last relationship?
Most people would certainly blame the other person in the relationship. Others blame their selves too much. It would be better to hear some answers like they (the couple) equally share the blame and that it is just time to part ways. The point in asking these questions is to establish a solid foundation on the kind of personality and attitude the other person has. It is when keeping the communication line open that matters most.

The problem with a lot of people involved in online dating is that most of them do not have any idea how to carry the conversation and how to keep the lines burning. They do not know what questions to ask and how to assess the answers that they get. Boiled down, asking some reliable questions will give the person an edge over a lot of things. Hence, he or she will be able to assert that when the time comes that they have to meet personally, the concerned person will be ready to face his or her online date.

Topics of Conversation on Your First Date

You are on your date, sitting in front of your date, you ordered something to drink, and now what? The rule of thumb to maintaining conversation is to do one of two things: End every statement with a question, or give room for your date to pick up from where you left off. Equally important: Learn to pick up a cue. If your date says, "Hmm, I love this coffee." Don't be an idiot and just say, "Yeah." Say something like, "Yeah, have you tried their Brazillian blend though?" Or "I loved the way the director shot that film." Don't say, "Me too," instead, "Have you seen his other films?" As you can see, it is quite simple to keep a conversation going, but, what if you don't even know what to talk about. Here are a few safe topics of conversations you can open up with:

The Weather
"The sun's been vicious for the last 5 days. Do you think there's going to be a drought or an earthquake?"

Movies
"Have you watched the new Angelina Jolie / Shia LaBeouf / Liv Tyler movie?"

Books
"Who's your favorite author? When was the last time she published a book?"

Travel
"Did you travel? Where and when?" or "I've got vacation leave coming up in a couple of months. Any suggestions where I can go?"

Work
"So what exactly does your work entail? Do you have to work on weekends?" or "What do you do for a living?"

Sports
"Nice tan you have. Do you play sports?" or "You look well-toned. What kind of work-out do you do?"

Hobbies
"So when you're not working or hanging out with your friends, what do you like doing? Got any hobbies?"

The most important thing about asking these first date questions is that they allow your date to talk about him or her self and teach you more about the person sitting in front of you. You should however stay away from topics such as: Politics, Religion, Racism, Sexual orientations and preferences, Mutual acquaintances, if either of you are no longer on good terms with those persons. You could still agree with some of the topics listed and have a great time talking. Just beware that a clash of opinions could result, voices may rise, and someone's drink might end up on someone's face. Save the debates for when you're one of the four things: 1.) Great friends 2.) Boyfriend/Girlfriend 3.) Married 4.) On opposite teams of a debate. It would be safer if you just talk about those topics on some other time.

You now know the topics to discuss and how to maintain the conversation. What else do we need to include? Well, just don't forget to give your date a compliment. Every person likes to be flattered, especially on first dates when the self-confidence is very low and you are both feeling very nervous. Complimenting your date may break the ice, make the other person feel more confident and comfortable and also add some bonus points to your date’s opinion about you. Make sure that your compliments are personal, honest and convincing, and not a cheesy sentence you cite from an Italian movie, which will only make you loose your credibility and your charm.

Guy Guide - An Easy Way to Get a Phone Number

You met a girl and you're interested in her but the next big question is "How to get her phone number?" I know that a lot of you guys have a hard time out there when it comes to women, but it doesn't have to be. Guys just like you are doing fine out there. They are overweight, they are short, they have plain looks...but they still have some pretty cute girlfriends. They did it, and so can you!

Here's a simple and easy way to do that "I'd like to take you out sometime, can I have your phone number?" Or, you could ask for her e-mail address, Facebook, MySpace as well. This way, you imply that you’re hip 'because you’re connected to the net. Now here's a cool way to get a woman's number, while making her laugh at the same time. On a piece of paper write out the numbers 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0. Then say, "I already have your number but I'm not really sure if I have them in the right order. If you could just help me arrange them." Then give her a big, devilish smile.

Guys, it is not hard approaching women, it is not hard talking to women, and it is not hard asking for a date. You just need to have confidence in yourself, a game plan, and the right things to say. Remember, other guys are doing it, and so can you!

Tips on Elementary Courtship

If you're still not sure about the right manners in dating, then let Rowan Atkinson (aka Mr. Bean) guide you through the Do's and Don'ts in dating... He may look stupid on most of the time but I still find this video useful and very funny! He’s a real comedy genius! The funniest part in this video for me is when they were eating at the restaurant and his professional way of tasting a wine… I hope you enjoy this too! :)

A Helpful Guide For Matchmakers

Your friend wants a date and you want to offer a help. If you're thinking of playing matchmaker, it's important to remember and abide by the following rules and pointers:

1. Never set-up a friend with a sex maniac, alcoholic, satan worshiper, drug user, or kleptomaniac. If your normal to somewhat-normal friend sees you again after surviving his/her terrifying date with one, rest assured he or she's got your number and you'll never hear the end of it.

2. Be sure they have something to talk about. Give each person a little bit of information about the other just to get things going in the right direction.

3. Warn your friends beforehand of anything you might feel will irritate or annoy them. If your girlfriend detests smokers and the person you're setting her up with smokes, be sure to tell her. Make sure to mention you think that in spite of whatever it is, they will still get along.

4. Offer to be there to break the ice, if that will make him or her more comfortable. Then leave later on if it seems they're hitting it off. Don't throw two people to the wolves and leave it at that. Be gracious and thoughtful and anticipate their needs, if only for the beginning of their date.

These are some simple tips that might help if your planning to be a matchmaker, and these are very easy to follow. The same principle applies in dating. All you need to do is use a little common sense, and I've seen a video about that which I'm going to be sharing with you. Rowan Atkinson (aka Mr. Bean) does the acting well! :) You'll see it on my next post...