How to Ask Your Friend Out for a Date (part 3)

There are only two things that might happen when you’re asking your friend for a date... The offer may be rejected or accepted. Now, how should you react in those situations?

What to Do if Your Offer is Rejected

Your offer may be refused. Remember that the date is being rejected and you. Resist the temptation to take it personally. Your friendship will be different afterwards, but so what? Your friendship is being changed and made different every day. It is called growth. Continue to value the qualities in your friend that attracted you to him/her in the first place. However, remember that you do not have any claim on that person other than a great friendship.


What to if Your Offer is Accepted

Plan a great date and, if all goes well, ask for another one! Again, expect that your friendship will change as the element of romance is added. Continue to communicate with one another and strengthen your friendship. That way, if you find in time that the romantic aspect isn't working out after all, a close friendship will remain. And if everything does work out, you may someday find yourself buying those cheesy wedding invitations.

How to Ask Your Friend Out for a Date

It may sound weird, others may feel awkward, and for some the idea of dating your bestfriend may be a bit scary…. However, most of us would agree that good friends make great girlfriends and boyfriends. And most probably, the person you’re dating might be the person you’ll end up marrying. You've even seen the wedding invitations that read "Today I Marry my Best Friend." Dating someone who has been a friend decreases the awkwardness of getting to know one another. You already like and trust your friend and have a shared past, a context in which to create a new relationship. In dating a friend you aren't starting over but adding a new dimension to a relationship that you already value.

That said, trying to start a dating relationship with a friend can be like skating on thin ice. What if she considers you more like a brother than a lover? What if he/she just want you to remain friends? What the person refuses you? Is it all worth it?

The last is a question that only you can answer. If you decide that you are ready to swallow your fears and ask your friend for a date, then just stay tune for some helpful suggestion that might help you to get through with that…. I'll just post the "part two" of this post tomorrow... and I'm sleepy now... :)

Topics of Conversation on Your First Date

You are on your date, sitting in front of your date, you ordered something to drink, and now what? The rule of thumb to maintaining conversation is to do one of two things: End every statement with a question, or give room for your date to pick up from where you left off. Equally important: Learn to pick up a cue. If your date says, "Hmm, I love this coffee." Don't be an idiot and just say, "Yeah." Say something like, "Yeah, have you tried their Brazillian blend though?" Or "I loved the way the director shot that film." Don't say, "Me too," instead, "Have you seen his other films?" As you can see, it is quite simple to keep a conversation going, but, what if you don't even know what to talk about. Here are a few safe topics of conversations you can open up with:

The Weather
"The sun's been vicious for the last 5 days. Do you think there's going to be a drought or an earthquake?"

Movies
"Have you watched the new Angelina Jolie / Shia LaBeouf / Liv Tyler movie?"

Books
"Who's your favorite author? When was the last time she published a book?"

Travel
"Did you travel? Where and when?" or "I've got vacation leave coming up in a couple of months. Any suggestions where I can go?"

Work
"So what exactly does your work entail? Do you have to work on weekends?" or "What do you do for a living?"

Sports
"Nice tan you have. Do you play sports?" or "You look well-toned. What kind of work-out do you do?"

Hobbies
"So when you're not working or hanging out with your friends, what do you like doing? Got any hobbies?"

The most important thing about asking these first date questions is that they allow your date to talk about him or her self and teach you more about the person sitting in front of you. You should however stay away from topics such as: Politics, Religion, Racism, Sexual orientations and preferences, Mutual acquaintances, if either of you are no longer on good terms with those persons. You could still agree with some of the topics listed and have a great time talking. Just beware that a clash of opinions could result, voices may rise, and someone's drink might end up on someone's face. Save the debates for when you're one of the four things: 1.) Great friends 2.) Boyfriend/Girlfriend 3.) Married 4.) On opposite teams of a debate. It would be safer if you just talk about those topics on some other time.

You now know the topics to discuss and how to maintain the conversation. What else do we need to include? Well, just don't forget to give your date a compliment. Every person likes to be flattered, especially on first dates when the self-confidence is very low and you are both feeling very nervous. Complimenting your date may break the ice, make the other person feel more confident and comfortable and also add some bonus points to your date’s opinion about you. Make sure that your compliments are personal, honest and convincing, and not a cheesy sentence you cite from an Italian movie, which will only make you loose your credibility and your charm.

A Helpful Guide For Matchmakers

Your friend wants a date and you want to offer a help. If you're thinking of playing matchmaker, it's important to remember and abide by the following rules and pointers:

1. Never set-up a friend with a sex maniac, alcoholic, satan worshiper, drug user, or kleptomaniac. If your normal to somewhat-normal friend sees you again after surviving his/her terrifying date with one, rest assured he or she's got your number and you'll never hear the end of it.

2. Be sure they have something to talk about. Give each person a little bit of information about the other just to get things going in the right direction.

3. Warn your friends beforehand of anything you might feel will irritate or annoy them. If your girlfriend detests smokers and the person you're setting her up with smokes, be sure to tell her. Make sure to mention you think that in spite of whatever it is, they will still get along.

4. Offer to be there to break the ice, if that will make him or her more comfortable. Then leave later on if it seems they're hitting it off. Don't throw two people to the wolves and leave it at that. Be gracious and thoughtful and anticipate their needs, if only for the beginning of their date.

These are some simple tips that might help if your planning to be a matchmaker, and these are very easy to follow. The same principle applies in dating. All you need to do is use a little common sense, and I've seen a video about that which I'm going to be sharing with you. Rowan Atkinson (aka Mr. Bean) does the acting well! :) You'll see it on my next post...

Signs that Your Date is Lying

It's 8:30 p.m., and your date is seriously late for your dinner date. When he finally arrives, he offers you a convoluted explanation of his whereabouts, during which he refuses to look you in the eyes and keeps rubbing his nose. Suspicious that he's not being completely honest? You should be, says Greg Hartley, author of How to Spot a Liar: Why People Don't Tell the Truth... and How You Can Catch Them. For hints on how you can discern the truth, consider the following signs as explained by Hartley, a decorated military interrogator who observes these signals to assess the honesty of enemy combatants. Remember, all is fair in the game of war and love.

1. Your date compliments you at an inappropriate time
Hartley says that a man often compliments a woman when he's trying to pull a fast one on her. "If in the middle of his explanation of his whereabouts, he comments on your dress or asks if you just got a haircut, be suspicious", he says. "Guys who do so are trying to distract you and divert your attention away from their half-truths or other deceptions. Don't fall for it."


2. The pace of your date's answers varies
Though your date may be offering flawless answers to your questions, what may actually give him away is the rate at which he delivers those answers. "Pay attention to inordinate time differences in his answering style," Hartley suggests. If he rushes to answer when he usually pauses or pauses when he normally rushes, that's a hint that something is up."

3. This person raises his or her eyebrows
You suspect something's up, and you've called her on it. She offers an explanation, ending with that, "You do believe me, don't you?" look, with eyebrows raised. Hartley says this key body language piece indicates that your date is not being fully honest. He asks, "You know that phrase 'lying eyes'? A lot of times, it's more in the lying eyebrows, especially with women, so pay attention to them when she's speaking to you."

4. Your date plays with her hair
When a woman is being deceptive, her behavior will actually be quite similar to when she's seducing you, explains Hartley. "When you think about it, the two actions are somewhat linked, even though they have different motivations behind them," he says. Therefore, if you're trying to assess your female date's honesty, look for a sure sign of seduction: playing with her hair, a historic symbol of sexuality and attraction.

5. Your date wrings his hands
"If a guy is wringing his hands when he's speaking to you, he may be lying," Hartley notes. Why is this an indicator of dishonesty? Hand-wringing not only signals stress, an indicator of deception, but his putting his hands in between his body and yours creates a barrier, and a guy creating this kind of barrier is usually hiding something, explains Hartley.

and 3 signs that your date is being completely truthful...

1. He sticks to just the facts, ma'am
Perhaps one of the most common indicators of a lie is a too-detailed explanation. "This is one of the easiest ones to spot, but strangely, one deception that women often fall for," Hartley notes. Don't be fooled by his incredible attention to detail or his ability to recount every step he's taken, he cautions. "A guy who offers you a detailed explanation is almost always lying; in general, guys just don't recall details - that's more women's territory," he says. "If his story or alibi about where he was or why he was late is too good, there's probably a reason why: He crafted it himself." If he gives you a simple, short, reasonable explanation, chances are he's telling you the truth and sees no need to embellish it, Hartley says.

2. Your date is calm, cool and collected
First, let's assume your date hasn't been exercising or rushing to meet you, nor is he or she one of those people who just naturally perspire a lot. OK, now that we've gotten that out of the way, if your date breaks into a sweat while speaking to you, it could be a sign of stress - the stress of lying. "While dates - especially first dates - are generally stressful situations, if you've been together a while, there should be no reason your date should feel much stress and be sweating," says Hartley, "unless, of course, there's something that is giving him or her reason to be stressed and sweating." Like the fact that this person just told you a whopper.

3. She keeps her head up straight
If your date is fibbing, she may look you in the eye, but she'll almost always cock or tilt her head to one side, Hartley says. "This flirty behavior is both a sign of seduction and lying," he notes. "With this body language, she's probably trying to reel you in sexually so as to distract you from her lies," he says. A woman who's telling the truth, however, will look at you head-on, he says, with her neck and head as straight as an arrow.

Now that you know these clues, look for them to make sure you're hanging out with the kind of honest person who is worthy of you and your time!

The Problem With Online Dating

One of the main problems with online dating is the extensive selection that is available. With so many singles we find ourselves getting caught up and involved with so many of them. We would save a lot of time and emotions by being more selective. That way we are available for the Singles that fit our "must have" list.

Online dating is not like your local bar and grille where you may have a selection of 7-10 eligible singles on a good night! Online your choices are endless! If you don't find who you want on one site? You just move onto the next singles site. Start with your list of must haves and begin shopping! Take your time...the Singles aren't going anywhere!

Another problem with online dating, you can never be sure the photo of the person is really the person you are corresponding with! But I think that is a small risk for the quantity of singles you will have access to. But look at it from the point of view. The singles you meet in public could be giving you the wrong name, the wrong age; their current relationship status could be a lie. So, if someone is going to lie, they are a liar. Whether online or off...a liar is a liar! That is the reason I ask so many questions. If that offends some of the singles? Too Bad! I have a right to know what I am dealing with from the very beginning. If the single you are giving the "Third degree" to has been online dating for any length of time, they will understand your skepticism. If not...oh well...Next please!!?

The Reasons Why Online Dating Works

We probably all know why online dating doesn’t work, but I want to let you know the reasons online dating does work.

The main reason online dating works is because of the vast number of eligible Singles that are online. If you can’t find what you want on one site, you simply move on to the next site.

If you are out “clubbing” you will have a very limited number of Singles to choose from. While online, there are literally millions of singles!

Another reason online dating works is we are able to totally “drop out” of the picture if we are being pursued by someone we have no interest in.

Unfortunately, if we are being pursued offline, using a club as an example, we can be followed from the bar to the dance floor to a table even all of the way to the parking lot!

But online, we can simply choose to stop responding! If the pursuit turns into harassment and stalking, we can have the site administrator totally block them!

Another reason online dating works is that we can “qualify” a person before deciding whether or not we want to get to know them better. While offline we can ask a lot of questions and if we don’t like the answers we are rarely rude enough to look someone in the face and say; “thanks for your interest, but I am not interested in you. Bye...”

I find that online dating has a lot of “safety features” that work in the favor of the Singles! You just have to know what these “safety features” are and how to use them!

An article from: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_1646.shtml
by: Vivian Johnson

How to Develop Your Confidence in Dating?

To date successfully as both a man or woman you need to increase your confidence levels. Some things you can change quickly, others you will need to practice. Nothing will be achieved without trying that's for certain. If you never leave the house because you don't feel that great about yourself then unless you use Internet dating services only, no one will come to you. Follow these tips to increase your confidence levels whether you are a single man or woman:

• Make a list addressing all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. Be brutally honest.
• First of all establish whether you are truly ready to meet someone new. If so then proceed. If not, withdraw and take your time.
• Start by addressing the way you look and the way you dress.
• Establish which things you think people may not like about you and make a list. Get a second opinion too.
• By changing the most basic aspects of your looks, lifestyle and regime you will instantly feel more confident. You will have a new you.
• Ensure you are comfortable with any changes you make.
• Start to change the routines that drag you down. If you associate with people who criticize you, lose them fast.
• Your confidence will grow as you feel better about yourself and others will sense it.
• Make sure you are in shape or attempting to be. If you are dieting or exercising remember to be patient as these changes, though dramatic, will take a little while.
• Learn to enjoy the smaller things in life and give yourself time especially for these things. If you like to cook for friends then start having dinner parties. Don't wait for others.
• By looking and feeling good about yourself and widening your horizons your life has already changed for the better and your confidence levels are on the up.
• Now start to be selective about what kind of person you really like. But by the same token talk to everyone. The more people who are interested the higher your confidence levels.
• Start dating. If someone has asked you out, accept.
• Set yourself some life goals as well as romantic goals. Other people love to associated with driven and goal-orientated people. Confidence breeds confidence.
• Learn to like and love yourself for who you are and what you want from your life. Do not allow negative family comments to influence you in any way.
• Make conversation with the nice people you meet along the way.
• Become sociable and look good at every opportunity. Be your own best advert.
• Remember that your confidence levels will become sky high by people saying yes to you. This will happen when you select the right kind of dates for you so keep a realistic approach to dating.
• Walk away from anything you don't like and instill a positive mental attitude in everything you do.

What Are Her Signals To Take It Further?

by terrie leslie

Both women and men have motives in everything they do. Only difference is that a women’s motives are much harder to figure out, although not impossible. They do leave enough clues for you to figure out. Their body language, the questions they ask, and their actions all form clues to what they are after.

It may be for money. You’ll quickly notice this if she expects you to pay for everything and never offers to split any bills and she doesn’t take the opportunity to also pay for you at times. Questions she asks such as what you do, the house you live in, and the car you drive, these are definite signs that she is in it for the money.

Other women may be in it for the sex, they just want to get laid. And you will be able to pick this up through their actions. Sexually adventurous women are much more aggressive in their actions such as approaching you very closely on the dance floor, wrapping their arms around you etc. Although there are exceptional shy ones that are also sexually active and are really just waiting for the right man to sweep them away and begin their sexual encounter and fantasy.

Women love to talk, so you should allow them to. They are revealing themselves to you. However, if you encounter a shy women who is more timid, ask her questions. Men usually make the mistake of trying to cover up complete silence by filling it up with self centered talk, intentionally or unintentionally. Women are turned off by self centeredness. Don’t make this mistake. There must be a balance. Try to ask a question for every question she asks, that is best way.

Women also act shy as they look downward, hoping the man catches them doing so. What they are doing is really inviting us into their world. Even a slight smile is perhaps an invitation to move forward.

It is not only men who get nervous in front of the opposite sex. Women are probably as or more nervous than men are. So if the woman is talking to you, then you’ve got a chance. It’s common that if the woman is either taken or doesn’t want to know you more, she can be quite blunt or you’ll notice that she will find a way to get out talking to your further.

If it’s none of these, then, go full steam ahead, she’ll want you to!

An article based from http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_1634.shtml

How to ask for a Date – part 2

So, you want to ask for a date using other methods. Well, here are some of the tips that might be useful.

Letters

Some things never change. Whether it be high school, college or the workplace, passing notes will forever be with us, because boredom will forever be with us too. And you can use letters to your advantage. Consider this scenario:

It's time for the dreaded quarterly report on the company's financial situation. Mr. Boring (otherwise known as your boss) is bitching about how the company needs to learn how to save on paper clips and staples. You look over your left, your office buddy is pretending to be engrossed with his palmtop but he's actually playing minesweeper by himself. To your right is that cute girl you've been dying to go out with, tapping her pencil with one hand while the other cradles her face from landing on the table and falling asleep. Make your move!

Scribble a little note like, "What do you think the boss will do if I stand up and start bending paper clips out of shape?" Pass it to her and wait for a response. If she giggles and scribbles something and passes it back to you, you can strut your way down easy street. If she raises an eyebrow and looks at you from head to toe, better luck next time.

So how do you do it? How do you break the ice and ask for a date with a letter? By using the world's best aphrodisiac; otherwise known as humor, of course!

Through friends

Depending on what kind of friends you have, searching for a good date through them can either be a great idea, or one doomed to failure from the very beginning. Friends know who you'll click with, and who you're attracted to physically and intellectually. They'll weed out the bad apples from the very beginning, thereby saving everyone time and cash.

Another great reason for having friends set you up with someone is how they can build you up. They'll know what your potential date wants to hear, and edit out what they know your date doesn't. Just for you, they'll tell him/her what a great singing voice you have and conveniently forget to mention you're wanted by the FBI. However, if your friends don't know you as well as you think they should, it would be a better idea to find a date elsewhere.

Up Front

It takes a certain amount of mettle for you to ask someone out face to face. If you're an average Joe or Joanna, chances are the usual suspects - nerves, will be dodging you. Sweaty palms, stuttering, a sudden verbal deficiency, and a mysterious fascination with the ground that keeps your eyes trained downward.

And then of course there are some of us who don't want to be asked face to face. Others feel it puts the pressure on them to say yes, others are scandalized by forwardness.

Before you work up the nerve or the savvy to date someone using this method, make sure he/she is neither. Because if you're wrong, the worst thing that can happen is a slap in the face or the image of her or his back running away from you in helter-skelter.

Ask a good friend of the person, it's the safest way to go. It also lets you see for yourself what your chances are. If the friend says, "Go! Go!" it means your potential date has it for you too. If however, the friend says, "No! No!" it might be good to re-evaluate the situation and save your self-esteem some pain.

So what's the upside, you may ask. Well, there are those who find this method very, very attractive and sexy. It says about a person, "I'm confident, self-assured and capable." Which is why, you might want for re-consider your game plan and use a different formula. But hey, who knows. He/she might find your nervousness cute, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Are you always getting rejected?

You date. A lot. But instead of getting another date with your match, you get rejected. A lot. It’s hard not to feel like a rejection magnet. And if that’s the way you feel inside, there’s a good chance you’re putting those negative vibes out there when you socialize.

“I had a hard-luck streak that was a mile wide and disappeared into the sunset,” laments Bob Verducci, a Boston bachelor. “I was convinced I was only attracted to women who had no interest in dating anyone. At some point, a close friend pointed out that none of the women who’d ditched me seemed right for me,” he recalls. “It was a real eye-opener, realizing that just because I’m interested in someone doesn’t mean they’re right for me.”

In truth, when you stop and think about it, rejection has its purpose. It’s just part of the process of finding the person who’s right for you at the right time. So while rejection hurts, it’s keeping you from wasting time with someone who isn’t The One. Easy to say, of course, but if you follow these tips, you’ll learn how to put this kind of thinking into practice, improve your outlook… and turn your love life around.

Adjust your attitude. Though it seems counter-intuitive, learn to be grateful that the other party opted out, says Nicole Glassman, founder of Your Magic Elixir, a New York-based social networking service. “If this relationship had taken root, it could have caused greater hurt than any rejection you just experienced. You were spared. Be thankful that the selection process was just made easier by eliminating one who clearly was not right for you. Congratulations: You are one step closer to the one who is.”

Expand your options. “Try to see that the rejection is secondary to the experience,” counsels Rabbi Sherre Hirsch, author of We Plan, God Laughs: 10 Steps to Finding Your Divine Path When Life Is Not Turning Out Like You Wanted. “Each person we meet is an opportunity to grow and expand personally. You never know—while he may not be the person you spend the rest of your life with, his co-worker might be. Who knows where each date can lead?”

Recognize the true pattern. If you’re getting summarily dismissed and you think it’s more than just a bad match, look for a deeper pattern. “Look back at your last two or more relationships. Do you see any similarities in your and the other person’s behaviors and in what didn’t work and did?” asks Melissa Galt, author of Designing Your Signature Life. Chances are, you are attracting the same type because you are behaving in a consistent manner—and it isn’t working. Realize this and take action. Says Galt: “When you change your own behavior, you’ll change what you attract.”

Acknowledge your own gifts. It’s important to be clear about your greatest assets so you value yourself highly and go for appropriate matches. “Ask yourself what you bring to a relationship and why someone would date you,” Glassman notes. “If you can’t name at least five positive qualities about yourself, then this is your first problem. You need to appreciate your own gifts before anyone else will.”

State your intention. To yourself, that is, and remind yourself of it frequently so you don’t settle. “I believe all things occur perfectly and for a reason,” says Lori Marcoux, co-founder of Seattle-based leadership consulting company, Extraordinary Learning. “When I am meant to be in a relationship I will be. I want to be in a relationship for all the right reasons and not just for the sake of being in a relationship. I also prefer to be in a relationship with someone who is just as excited about being in relationship with me, as I am being in relationship with them.”

But perhaps the most important way to change your feelings of rejection magnet into love magnet is to keep hope alive. Think of the people you know who felt their situation was hopeless and then wound up meeting someone fantastic online… or in line at the drugstore. Or take a really big-picture view of things: “Judaism teaches that once God finished creating the world, He had a lot of time on his hands,” Hirsh says. “Since then He is busy making matches. God made someone for you. Keep going!”

article based from, http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=9511&menuid=6&lid=419

How to ask for a Date?

You can ask for a date through various means such as telephone or text messaging and email (or online communities like friendster, facebook, etc.). So how can you ask for a date through the:

• Phone - What is the most important thing to remember when asking for a date via phone? First of all we should be polite. "Good morning", "Good afternoon" "Good evening." "May I speak with," instead of "Can I talk to?" Even if you're very sure that it's your potential date that's going to answer the phone call, don't start off with a perverted phrase, "Hello Babe!" (You'll be mistaken for a molester.) If you could see the sour expression this leaves on the face of who you're speaking with on the other side, you wouldn't even consider doing it anymore. But even before that, sit down and relax before you start dialing. Don't panic, there's nothing to worry about. If you're terribly nervous and end up hyperventilating and breathing hard, you will be mistaken for a pervert and we don't want that to happen. You should modulate your voice too. But not too much, don't try to impersonate Darth Vader. Just make sure your voice is clear and phlegm-free. A case of nerves might trip your vocal cords.

• Text Messaging - Remember, you're permitted to use text only when you and your potential date are already great friends. "How about the last full show of Spiderman tonight? Call you up tonight for an answer." A message like that implies that you're very much familiar with each other's schedule, interests, availability, and phone number. It means that, you're already good friends.

For those who are not great friends with their potential dates, text messaging comes off as much less personal and only for the weaklings. It's also rude and completely stupid to text something like "How about a date? Call me at 123-4567 for your response" and leave the receiver the responsibility of finding a phone to give you an answer.

• Online Communities - You may be one of the lucky ones who move in the same circles as your potential date. Luckier still, your friends may be "friendster fanatics" who enjoy bombarding each other with forwarded messages. What's a good way to start it off? Send her/him a casual observation on the forwarded message, like "How'd you like that last joke of Anna's?" and wait for a reply. Chances are, you'll get one, so don't fret about it. It's a great icebreaker, and doesn't require seeing each other face to face.

Some people live for forwarded messages (personally, I despise them), and if you know a friend of hers/his, try asking how the person feels about them. If you can't get a straight answer, play it safe and add a little notice at the beginning: "I'm not sure whether you enjoy forwarded messages, but I read this and thought you might enjoy it."

Do not send anything insulting. No racist jokes, no dead-baby jokes, no religious jokes. Talk about starting on the wrong foot. And spare everyone from those inane chain emails too.

These are some of the useful tips which might be helpful to you depending on your situation. If you're still having second thoughts about asking for a date, then, you might just be losing your opportunity. So, why don't you just give it a try? But, you might want to ask for a date using other methods (through letters, friends, or even up front maybe). Other tips about those will be discussed on my next post, "How to ask for a date part 2."

Who needs a date?

Do you want to have date? If you're single and available and haven't gone out with anyone who isn't a friend or relative in over 3 months, you need a date. If your last relationship failed, probably because of different reasons(ouch), you need a date.

You might also need a date if your idea of a romantic evening is picking fleas of your dog. You need a date if you call every single one of your friends and their all gone, out on their own dates. You need a date if you think over the idea of calling one of those party hot lines. You need a date if you spend all day long, dreaming about your crush.

And lastly, if, on a Saturday night you wear your most expensive and most formal gown or suit, light some scented candles and spend the entire night chatting on the Internet, it isn't just a date you need , pal. You need therapy too!

But a date isn't just for freaks and desperate people. It's for anyone who has the freedom to do it, and anyone who enjoys meeting new people. However, you might be wondering, where do I start? Or, to be more specific, how should you ask for a date. To find out the tips and strategies that may help you in asking for date, then just read my next blog...

Signs that both of you will click

Say, for example, you meet someone online or maybe in text. This person seems to be very interesting but you're still having second thoughts. Should you go on a date? Will the two of you be in sync? You're not just sure whether you have enough information to go on...

Most of us would probably encounter this type of situation. What should we do then? First, we need to find enough information about the person we're interested with. Consider this, those emails or text messages are actually loaded with information that can help you decide whether you should go on that first date. You just have to know how to read the signs. Here, are some of the clues that I've read on different articles and books. These clues will help you decide whether your potential date deserves a chance or if you should move on to those other interesting people turning up in your search results.

The positive signs

No.1: The other person keeps the momentum going
With so much going on in our busy lives, it's easy to get distracted or lose interest. That's why it's so refreshing to make contact with someone who actually returns emails, calls when promised, and keeps his or her word. "When it comes to those first interactions, consistency is huge," says Yvonne Thomas, Los Angeles-based psychologist, specializing in relationships and self-esteem (www.yvonnethomasphd.com). "A man or woman who maintains the connection with you and keeps the momentum going until you meet is going to be reliable, considerate, and responsible."

No.2: The other person knows the value of a phone call
When you've been chatting with someone online, it often feels easiest just to ask him or her out via keypad. But the person who calls you to chat, or asks you out over the phone, rather than by email or text, is probably mature enough to understand that some traditional courting rules should still apply. "Rather than fall back on lazy dating habits, a person who phones sees the value in treating others with respect," explains David Wygant, dating expert on www.davidwygant.com. "Also, just the fact that a person is calling indicates that he or she wants to get to know you better" and have a better sense of who you are, what you sound like... and what makes you tick.

No.3: This person pays attention to details
Between the puplover212s and the dirtydog415s out there, it's tough to keep track of all the people you're talking to online. So isn't it nice when someone you've been chatting with is able to reference in a later conversation your love of Cap'n Crunch or old movies? "When a person remembers the things you've spoken about, it shows that he or she has been listening and paying attention to you," says Thomas. "Not only does it indicate interest, but it's also a sign of someone who will be a giving partner." Even if you don't think he or she is your physical type or worry that you two don't have enough in common, give it a chance. There's some good stuff there!

And the not-so-positive signs

No.1: Your date keeps rescheduling
Hey, we're all busy, but there's no excuse for canceling a date more than once. "If someone keeps pushing the date off, then it may indicate a lack of certainty he or she is going to be attracted to you and is clearly not all that psyched about meeting you," warns Wygant. "You should meet within a week of contact, otherwise, you're not high on that person's list of people to date." Obviously, some things are unavoidable; like if he is going away on vacation or one of her children got sick, but in general, if someone can't stick to a date, it's not worth the trouble.

No.2: Being too eager
While you obviously want a potential mate to show interest, a man or woman who is too pushy about meeting you can be a little creepy. "Some people force intimacy and relationships really quickly," says Thomas. "A person who wants to meet the very next day, gives a lot of compliments, or asks too many personal questions before the first date may be needy." Or caught up in the fantasy of who someone thinks you are and the great relationship you two are bound to have. Keep in mind that those people who get hot and heavy right away tend to fizzle out just as fast. If you do decide to date this kind of person, be sure to maintain some boundaries. Know that you don't have to go along with everything the person suggests just because you don't want to hurt his or her feelings.

No.3: Evading questions
During your initial email exchanges, you obviously don't want to bombard the other person with questions. Still, you should be able to get some basic queries answered. "If you're asking straightforward, not-too-personal things, like if he or she lives alone, has children, or what kind of work your date does, and that person keeps ignoring the questions, that's a really bad sign," warns Bev Bacon, author of Meet Me, Don't Delete Me. "It's not like he or she didn't see your question, rather, is avoiding answering it, which shows that this person may be closed-off and secretive, or possibly hiding something." You'll save yourself time, energy and possibly some heartache if you recognize the signs before you get in too deep.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=9487&menuid=6&lid=419