How to Ask Your Friend Out for a Date (part 3)

There are only two things that might happen when you’re asking your friend for a date... The offer may be rejected or accepted. Now, how should you react in those situations?

What to Do if Your Offer is Rejected

Your offer may be refused. Remember that the date is being rejected and you. Resist the temptation to take it personally. Your friendship will be different afterwards, but so what? Your friendship is being changed and made different every day. It is called growth. Continue to value the qualities in your friend that attracted you to him/her in the first place. However, remember that you do not have any claim on that person other than a great friendship.


What to if Your Offer is Accepted

Plan a great date and, if all goes well, ask for another one! Again, expect that your friendship will change as the element of romance is added. Continue to communicate with one another and strengthen your friendship. That way, if you find in time that the romantic aspect isn't working out after all, a close friendship will remain. And if everything does work out, you may someday find yourself buying those cheesy wedding invitations.

How to Ask Your Friend Out for a Date (part 2)

You’ve decided to ask her him/her out… Now what? How should you do it? Well, the answer is pretty simple…. You just need to Be Clear.

"I'd, uh, kinda maybe like to take you out sometime."

My great friends Ron and Anna were having another one of their late-night conversation marathons when, in a moment of silence, Ron had nervously blurted out those words. Ron didn't realize that Anna had a crush on him for months. He was funny, cute, and easy to be with. The only problem on that situation was that his hesitant statement made Anna both elated and confused. He made Anna wonder what he really means. Does he mean he wants to take her out? Or simply stating that he'd like to – “sometime”? And what was that "maybe" part doing in there? Ron had a good reason to be hesitant. He really liked Anna, but wasn't certain of his feelings for her. He didn't want to lose or change what had been a great friendship. However, the situation only brought greater confusion and uncertainty for them because Ron was not firm and clear in his communication. It is therefore important to say exactly what you mean, and mean what you say when asking your friend out. You even want to rehearse the gist of what you want to say several times in advance. (I'm not saying to memorize a prepared statement. Simply have a mental outline.) You may say something like, "Anna, we've been friends for a while now. I really appreciate our friendship. I find you so sweet, smart, and attractive. I’d like to see our friendship become a dating relationship. Could I take you out for dinner on Saturday night?"

You should also Be Prepared.

Be prepared for your friend's reaction. Anticipate questions. Anticipate him or her asking you for time to consider. You may even want to offer it by saying something like, "I know this is a change/big step/something you may not have ever thought about. Feel free to take a few days to consider it." This will allow your friend to truly consider the effects dating may have on your relationship. It will prevent him/her from making a rash decision or sharing a gut reaction. It is also a courtesy to your friend to whom the thought of dating may have never even occurred.

Asking your friend out does posts some risks… Your relationship might get better or worse. So, how would you react in those situations? How would you react if your offer is accepted or rejected? These issues will be discussed on my next post… ;)

How to Ask Your Friend Out for a Date

It may sound weird, others may feel awkward, and for some the idea of dating your bestfriend may be a bit scary…. However, most of us would agree that good friends make great girlfriends and boyfriends. And most probably, the person you’re dating might be the person you’ll end up marrying. You've even seen the wedding invitations that read "Today I Marry my Best Friend." Dating someone who has been a friend decreases the awkwardness of getting to know one another. You already like and trust your friend and have a shared past, a context in which to create a new relationship. In dating a friend you aren't starting over but adding a new dimension to a relationship that you already value.

That said, trying to start a dating relationship with a friend can be like skating on thin ice. What if she considers you more like a brother than a lover? What if he/she just want you to remain friends? What the person refuses you? Is it all worth it?

The last is a question that only you can answer. If you decide that you are ready to swallow your fears and ask your friend for a date, then just stay tune for some helpful suggestion that might help you to get through with that…. I'll just post the "part two" of this post tomorrow... and I'm sleepy now... :)

Topics of Conversation on Your First Date

You are on your date, sitting in front of your date, you ordered something to drink, and now what? The rule of thumb to maintaining conversation is to do one of two things: End every statement with a question, or give room for your date to pick up from where you left off. Equally important: Learn to pick up a cue. If your date says, "Hmm, I love this coffee." Don't be an idiot and just say, "Yeah." Say something like, "Yeah, have you tried their Brazillian blend though?" Or "I loved the way the director shot that film." Don't say, "Me too," instead, "Have you seen his other films?" As you can see, it is quite simple to keep a conversation going, but, what if you don't even know what to talk about. Here are a few safe topics of conversations you can open up with:

The Weather
"The sun's been vicious for the last 5 days. Do you think there's going to be a drought or an earthquake?"

Movies
"Have you watched the new Angelina Jolie / Shia LaBeouf / Liv Tyler movie?"

Books
"Who's your favorite author? When was the last time she published a book?"

Travel
"Did you travel? Where and when?" or "I've got vacation leave coming up in a couple of months. Any suggestions where I can go?"

Work
"So what exactly does your work entail? Do you have to work on weekends?" or "What do you do for a living?"

Sports
"Nice tan you have. Do you play sports?" or "You look well-toned. What kind of work-out do you do?"

Hobbies
"So when you're not working or hanging out with your friends, what do you like doing? Got any hobbies?"

The most important thing about asking these first date questions is that they allow your date to talk about him or her self and teach you more about the person sitting in front of you. You should however stay away from topics such as: Politics, Religion, Racism, Sexual orientations and preferences, Mutual acquaintances, if either of you are no longer on good terms with those persons. You could still agree with some of the topics listed and have a great time talking. Just beware that a clash of opinions could result, voices may rise, and someone's drink might end up on someone's face. Save the debates for when you're one of the four things: 1.) Great friends 2.) Boyfriend/Girlfriend 3.) Married 4.) On opposite teams of a debate. It would be safer if you just talk about those topics on some other time.

You now know the topics to discuss and how to maintain the conversation. What else do we need to include? Well, just don't forget to give your date a compliment. Every person likes to be flattered, especially on first dates when the self-confidence is very low and you are both feeling very nervous. Complimenting your date may break the ice, make the other person feel more confident and comfortable and also add some bonus points to your date’s opinion about you. Make sure that your compliments are personal, honest and convincing, and not a cheesy sentence you cite from an Italian movie, which will only make you loose your credibility and your charm.

Guy Guide - An Easy Way to Get a Phone Number

You met a girl and you're interested in her but the next big question is "How to get her phone number?" I know that a lot of you guys have a hard time out there when it comes to women, but it doesn't have to be. Guys just like you are doing fine out there. They are overweight, they are short, they have plain looks...but they still have some pretty cute girlfriends. They did it, and so can you!

Here's a simple and easy way to do that "I'd like to take you out sometime, can I have your phone number?" Or, you could ask for her e-mail address, Facebook, MySpace as well. This way, you imply that you’re hip 'because you’re connected to the net. Now here's a cool way to get a woman's number, while making her laugh at the same time. On a piece of paper write out the numbers 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0. Then say, "I already have your number but I'm not really sure if I have them in the right order. If you could just help me arrange them." Then give her a big, devilish smile.

Guys, it is not hard approaching women, it is not hard talking to women, and it is not hard asking for a date. You just need to have confidence in yourself, a game plan, and the right things to say. Remember, other guys are doing it, and so can you!

A Helpful Guide For Matchmakers

Your friend wants a date and you want to offer a help. If you're thinking of playing matchmaker, it's important to remember and abide by the following rules and pointers:

1. Never set-up a friend with a sex maniac, alcoholic, satan worshiper, drug user, or kleptomaniac. If your normal to somewhat-normal friend sees you again after surviving his/her terrifying date with one, rest assured he or she's got your number and you'll never hear the end of it.

2. Be sure they have something to talk about. Give each person a little bit of information about the other just to get things going in the right direction.

3. Warn your friends beforehand of anything you might feel will irritate or annoy them. If your girlfriend detests smokers and the person you're setting her up with smokes, be sure to tell her. Make sure to mention you think that in spite of whatever it is, they will still get along.

4. Offer to be there to break the ice, if that will make him or her more comfortable. Then leave later on if it seems they're hitting it off. Don't throw two people to the wolves and leave it at that. Be gracious and thoughtful and anticipate their needs, if only for the beginning of their date.

These are some simple tips that might help if your planning to be a matchmaker, and these are very easy to follow. The same principle applies in dating. All you need to do is use a little common sense, and I've seen a video about that which I'm going to be sharing with you. Rowan Atkinson (aka Mr. Bean) does the acting well! :) You'll see it on my next post...

Preparing for the Date

She said yes, or he said yes. You've got the place, time and day set. But there are some things to remember to do.

If your date has a curfew (imposed by parents or because the next day is a work day, or an early engagement), ask what time is appropriate to end the date.

If you're taking a car, make sure you've got enough gas. Take traffic into consideration when deciding what time to leave. If you don't want to get bored because you might be too early, bring a book or magazine along. Trust me, it's better to be early than to be late.

Make sure that you've got enough money, or that the place you're going to accepts your credit card. If you've got a cellphone, make sure it's working and the battery is charged. Should an emergency come up, it will come in handy for you and score you a lot of points if your date needs to use it.

Going out on a weekend is the common practice because of availability on both your sides. For this reason, most people do it and a lot of the popular places are packed. It's a good idea then to call the restaurant in advance to make a reservation. Don't be shy about it, they get calls like yours every day. This doesn't apply to just restaurants either. Wherever you choose to go, make sure you don't need to wait excessively before you can get on with your date.

Ask what time the billiard hall gets packed and what time is the best time to go to ensure a table, what time the video arcade closes, if all the rooms in the karaoke complex are booked, or if you can purchase tickets to the play at the entrance. You aren't just doing this to save time and gas, you're doing this because when things go wrong, the atmosphere gets tense, and neither you nor your date wants this to happen.

by jay

The Reasons Why Online Dating Works

We probably all know why online dating doesn’t work, but I want to let you know the reasons online dating does work.

The main reason online dating works is because of the vast number of eligible Singles that are online. If you can’t find what you want on one site, you simply move on to the next site.

If you are out “clubbing” you will have a very limited number of Singles to choose from. While online, there are literally millions of singles!

Another reason online dating works is we are able to totally “drop out” of the picture if we are being pursued by someone we have no interest in.

Unfortunately, if we are being pursued offline, using a club as an example, we can be followed from the bar to the dance floor to a table even all of the way to the parking lot!

But online, we can simply choose to stop responding! If the pursuit turns into harassment and stalking, we can have the site administrator totally block them!

Another reason online dating works is that we can “qualify” a person before deciding whether or not we want to get to know them better. While offline we can ask a lot of questions and if we don’t like the answers we are rarely rude enough to look someone in the face and say; “thanks for your interest, but I am not interested in you. Bye...”

I find that online dating has a lot of “safety features” that work in the favor of the Singles! You just have to know what these “safety features” are and how to use them!

An article from: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_1646.shtml
by: Vivian Johnson

How to Develop Your Confidence in Dating?

To date successfully as both a man or woman you need to increase your confidence levels. Some things you can change quickly, others you will need to practice. Nothing will be achieved without trying that's for certain. If you never leave the house because you don't feel that great about yourself then unless you use Internet dating services only, no one will come to you. Follow these tips to increase your confidence levels whether you are a single man or woman:

• Make a list addressing all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. Be brutally honest.
• First of all establish whether you are truly ready to meet someone new. If so then proceed. If not, withdraw and take your time.
• Start by addressing the way you look and the way you dress.
• Establish which things you think people may not like about you and make a list. Get a second opinion too.
• By changing the most basic aspects of your looks, lifestyle and regime you will instantly feel more confident. You will have a new you.
• Ensure you are comfortable with any changes you make.
• Start to change the routines that drag you down. If you associate with people who criticize you, lose them fast.
• Your confidence will grow as you feel better about yourself and others will sense it.
• Make sure you are in shape or attempting to be. If you are dieting or exercising remember to be patient as these changes, though dramatic, will take a little while.
• Learn to enjoy the smaller things in life and give yourself time especially for these things. If you like to cook for friends then start having dinner parties. Don't wait for others.
• By looking and feeling good about yourself and widening your horizons your life has already changed for the better and your confidence levels are on the up.
• Now start to be selective about what kind of person you really like. But by the same token talk to everyone. The more people who are interested the higher your confidence levels.
• Start dating. If someone has asked you out, accept.
• Set yourself some life goals as well as romantic goals. Other people love to associated with driven and goal-orientated people. Confidence breeds confidence.
• Learn to like and love yourself for who you are and what you want from your life. Do not allow negative family comments to influence you in any way.
• Make conversation with the nice people you meet along the way.
• Become sociable and look good at every opportunity. Be your own best advert.
• Remember that your confidence levels will become sky high by people saying yes to you. This will happen when you select the right kind of dates for you so keep a realistic approach to dating.
• Walk away from anything you don't like and instill a positive mental attitude in everything you do.

What Are Her Signals To Take It Further?

by terrie leslie

Both women and men have motives in everything they do. Only difference is that a women’s motives are much harder to figure out, although not impossible. They do leave enough clues for you to figure out. Their body language, the questions they ask, and their actions all form clues to what they are after.

It may be for money. You’ll quickly notice this if she expects you to pay for everything and never offers to split any bills and she doesn’t take the opportunity to also pay for you at times. Questions she asks such as what you do, the house you live in, and the car you drive, these are definite signs that she is in it for the money.

Other women may be in it for the sex, they just want to get laid. And you will be able to pick this up through their actions. Sexually adventurous women are much more aggressive in their actions such as approaching you very closely on the dance floor, wrapping their arms around you etc. Although there are exceptional shy ones that are also sexually active and are really just waiting for the right man to sweep them away and begin their sexual encounter and fantasy.

Women love to talk, so you should allow them to. They are revealing themselves to you. However, if you encounter a shy women who is more timid, ask her questions. Men usually make the mistake of trying to cover up complete silence by filling it up with self centered talk, intentionally or unintentionally. Women are turned off by self centeredness. Don’t make this mistake. There must be a balance. Try to ask a question for every question she asks, that is best way.

Women also act shy as they look downward, hoping the man catches them doing so. What they are doing is really inviting us into their world. Even a slight smile is perhaps an invitation to move forward.

It is not only men who get nervous in front of the opposite sex. Women are probably as or more nervous than men are. So if the woman is talking to you, then you’ve got a chance. It’s common that if the woman is either taken or doesn’t want to know you more, she can be quite blunt or you’ll notice that she will find a way to get out talking to your further.

If it’s none of these, then, go full steam ahead, she’ll want you to!

An article based from http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_1634.shtml